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27 November 2014

On Radical Honesty and Spurious Accusations

(NOTE: I am writing this post in an attempt to clarify something in my own head. You can read it too, if you like. All names have been expunged from the quoted text.

So recently, I was friend-added by a woman who was another member of a certain feminism-promoting Facebook group I frequented. We got to talking, pretty casually, and I quite simply mentioned that I was in a marriage along polyamorous lines. We also spoke about the coming Singularity and the relative merits of joining the Cylons.

A few days later, she mentioned on her wall that she is in need of a massage in the region of where I stay. Since I perform massage services on a moonlighting basis, and since I did not know her and her friendship circle very well yet, I sent her a FB inbox message to mention that I do that sort of thing on a moonlighting basis. No funny stuff, no suggestive innuendo, nothing at all to indicate that I was even interested in her or being intimate with same. Herewith the full and sum total conversation between her and I:

    Conversation started 19 November
    [My name]
    19/11/2014 14:29
    [My name]

    Hello To what do I owe the honour?
    [Person X]
    19/11/2014 17:17
    [Person X]

    Hey! Thanks for the add. Do you belong to the SA Feminists group? I think I saw one of your comments somewhere, a while back, and thought it was cool.

    Then yesterday FB said we have mutual friends so I decided to "reach out" and be friendly.

    It's weird, some people only add people they're friends with IRL, while others extend their network. I am becoming more of the latter lately.
    Thursday
    [My name]
    20/11/2014 11:00
    [My name]

    Hi there Yes I am on the SA Feminists' group and been known to post there.

    I am from the oldschool internet... met many of my best friends on IRC back in the day. Even met my wife there, with who I am now in a open polyamorous relationship.
    [Person X]
    20/11/2014 13:32
    [Person X]

    Cool. That's very enlightened of you both! I am not so advanced

    I met my boyfriends through Facebook, although we do have friends in common IRL.

    What is IRC? Please forgive my ignorance.

    boyfriend*
    [My name]
    20/11/2014 13:37
    [My name]

    Eh, boyfriends plural is also fine

    As I said, poly. Got a few lovers (women cis and trans) and a sweet subby lad

    IRC is Internet Relay Chat. Old communications protocol that existed years before the concept of web pages was thought up
    [My name]
    20/11/2014 13:47
    [My name]

    the Windows program "mIRC" was widely used for this
    Thursday
    [Person X]
    20/11/2014 19:38
    [Person X]

    Wow. Yep, I guess the internet has changed a lot. We're all so used to constant change now (in technology) that we don't even really notice it anymore
    [My name]
    20/11/2014 19:41
    [My name]

    Yep. And the rate of change is itself accelerating. That's what the singularity is about
    [Person X]
    20/11/2014 19:42
    [Person X]

    I know. Bring on the singularity. I've had enough of this hellish existence.

    I want to join the Cylons
    [My name]
    20/11/2014 19:48
    [My name]

    They're not too bad, the new ones anyway. But still so primitive in their warlike ways
    [Person X]
    20/11/2014 19:49
    [Person X]

    Heh.
    [My name]
    20/11/2014 20:31
    [My name]

    Sorry, not the best day to brain
    [Person X]
    20/11/2014 20:32
    [Person X]

    No, it was fuuny. Maybe my heh didn't properly convey that
    [My name]
    20/11/2014 20:34
    [My name]

    Oh, I didn't mean that. I meant my occasional silence

    We are house hunting and dealing with passive aggressive housemates atm
    [My name]
    20/11/2014 20:41
    [My name]

    In addition to which, I woke up at 4AM this morning and my blood sugar is pretty low right now too

    And it's Thursday, which not even Arthur Dent could get the hang of
    [Person X]
    20/11/2014 20:42
    [Person X]

    hah.

    You'd better get some rest1
    [My name]
    20/11/2014 20:43
    [My name]

    True story.
    [Person X]
    20/11/2014 20:43
    [Person X]

    Good luck with the househunting and passive aggressors
    [My name]
    20/11/2014 20:46
    [My name]

    Thank you. We'll speak soon, I'm sure
    [Person X]
    20/11/2014 20:46
    [Person X]

    Cools
    Tuesday
    [My name]
    25/11/2014 14:52
    [My name]

    Hey there [Person]! I happen to moonlight as a masseur, and am told I'm fucking brilliant at it. I'm sure we can come to an arrangement. (No innuendo intended :P)

    I can come to you, too. I live in Newlands atm
    [Person X]
    25/11/2014 15:07
    [Person X]

    Sounds great, thanks. I work in Rondebosch and live in town though, so I need a place to go to to have it done (can't have it done at work
    [My name]
    25/11/2014 15:09
    [My name]

    I could host at my place, it's not quite a massage studio but it will suffice
    [Person X]
    25/11/2014 15:13
    [Person X]

    How much do you charge?

    Actually i think I'm going to politely decline. I want to go to like a spa, with panpipe music and someone I don't know at all massaging me. Thank very much for your kind offer though
    [My name]
    25/11/2014 15:16
    [My name]

    All good, I understand

    Usually I charge R350 for a full body massage, so you know. Might knock off some of that for a season special
    [Person X]
    25/11/2014 17:45
    [Person X]

    Hi [My name]. I need to tell you that I have found you to be extremely inappropriate with me from the beginning. Me adding you on FB was not an invitation for you to talk about your sex life or offer me massages.

    It crosses major lines and frankly it's creepy and gross. If you're using the SA feminists as pick up group that's disgusting and unacceptable.

    I don't want to discuss this with you further, but I felt you needed to be told, and might not creep other women in the future.

    Goodbye.
    [My name]
    25/11/2014 18:01
    [My name]

    Dear [Person]

    Gosh. You don't have to discuss or reply to this, I just you should know what my intent was vs the outcome of events. I am incredibly sorry about that. I'm often too honest and open about my life and lifestyle, and done people just aren't used to that sort of openness that doesn't come with some sort of agenda. If you were to ask somebody that knows me well, you would get a much different impression of me than you got, but I don't blame you for misreading me and my intentions. I do in fact moonlight doing massage, and it's just that. Massage. The fact that I was open about my love/sex life was in no way intended to come on to you, in fact nothing that I said to you had that intent behind it.

    I sincerely apologise for inadvertently giving you the wrong impression. I do not use the group that way and never would, it would indeed be unacceptable. I'm mortified that anything I did caused you offense. The impression you got was the furthest thing from my mind. I wish you nothing but the best in the future.

    Sincerely, [My name]


The next message I received was this message from an administrator of said group. Note that I was given no opportunity to present my side of the case, nor an indication that the woman in question has even shared our actual conversation with the administrators in question.

Message from [Group Admin]

Hi [my name]

The admin of SA Feminists were approached by a member of the group regarding communications between both of you and how it made her uncomfortable. She had expressed no interest and made to feel even more uncomfortable when you approached her a second time in private regarding a public posting of hers.

She responded to you by stating that your approaching her was not acceptable and not welcome and didn't wish to be contacted again. Which you did, in a manner that the admins feel dismisses her feelings of discomfort and blamed her for misinterpreting your approaches.

Sending a woman you don't know well a personal message about your sex life, and, after she's made it clear she's not interested, later contacting her privately again to offer a massage—is behaviour that any man concerned with feminism should absolutely recognise as problematic, entirely regardless of his intentions.

A response focused solely on your own intentions as the only salient factor, and completely ignoring how she actually felt about being on the receiving end of this behaviour (despite her clearly stating it) and, before sending the messages, not thinking at all about how each would likely come across or make her feel—this is what's problematically sexist about these actions

It has been discussed and the admins feel that this behavior is not appropriate and we will be removing you from the group.

Hopefully you can see this as a learning experience and adjust your interactions with others going forward.

Regards
I would very much like to know in what way she "made it clear she's not interested". It certainly was not by the use of words and sentences fashioned by her brain and sent via her fingers to me. I suspect that she might very well have communicated by pheromones and interpretive dance, but she certainly never actually said in words that she felt I was coming on to her, or that she felt that my topic of conversation was inappropriate, or anything negative whatsoever until she went full-on "you're a creep" mode.

I am willing to provide screenshots of the FB conversation above (sanitised & blurred out, of course, to protect her identity despite all that has transpired because it's the right thing to do). I am interested to know whether she would be willing to do the same.

19 November 2014

What Happens In The Basement...


This story was written at the request of a friend with whom I share certain kinks. I hope you like it. Feedback and comments welcomed
 

ACT ONE

You aren't exactly sure how you ended up where you are. During our online chats, our mutual attraction soon grew into a nearly palpable sexual connection before we even met. Right from the start you felt that you could trust me, which is why you came to my house when I ordered you to.

Before your hand quite reaches the knocker, the door opens. The house is dark, lit only by the streetlamp outside. Despite your apprehension, you step inside and wait for the door to close behind you. You drop your long winter coat where you stand, and wait.

The gloom suddenly turns to pitch darkness; you gasp as a blindfold enfolds your eyes and is tied behind your head. Exactly as I ordered, however, you stand dead still even when you feel my breath on your neck, sense my body heat behind you through your thin summer dress. A hand snakes around your neck, squeezes your throat a bit -- not tightly, but not exactly gently either. In fact, you moan and lean back into me, bite your lip in the darkness. My hand is replaced by the collar I cinch around your neck... tight enough to slip in one finger, two at most. Done with the collar, my warm strong hands settle on your shoulders. You shiver -- or is that a tremble? -- as I knead your tense shoulders for a minute to relax you a bit.

From your shoulders, I run my hands down your arms to enfold your hands in my own. I put my arms around you from behind, nuzzling the back of your neck as I use your hands to touch yourself. First your stomach, then I have you cup and knead your boobs and cup your rapidly moistening pussy.

Just as you are getting into it, I seize your wrists and bring them together behind your back, tie them up... then step away, breaking contact. Your disappointed moan turns into a squeal as I firmly swat an ass cheek.

"You don't decide when you receive pleasure, I do. Understand?" I murmur in your ear. I spank your other cheek to emphasize the last word.

"Yes, sir," you breathe.

"Good girl. Please me and you'll receive pleasure in return. Displease me and no spankings for you, clear? Speak up!"

"Yes, sir! I promise, sir!" you say with another little moan.

"I am going to pick you up and carry you now. You are allowed to try and pleasure me if you are able." With that, I pick you up with an arm each around your knees and shoulders. As I walk into the house with you, you snuggle against my chest and then lift your head to kiss and nibble at my neck. You feel me shiver in anticipation, and grin to yourself, your hot breath making me clutch you tighter to my chest.

You're so lost in the feeling of me that you don't pay attention where we're going until you feel me descend some stairs into a basement. I put you down on what feels like a wooden table, undo your hands, and tie you to the table instead... spread-eagled wide open, arms above your head and your ankles to a leg each. As I spread your legs, you feel the air hit your exposed little pussy... your hips writhe involuntarily at the sensation and you moan again.

I remove your blindfold; after that darkness, the candlelight coming from all around you temporarily blinds you until your eyes adjust...



ACT TWO


When your eyes had done adjusting to the candlelight, you looked around and saw me standing a couple of steps away. I seemed engrossed in the contents of a surgical trolley, the contents of which were tantalisingly just out of line of sight from your prone position. I catch your eye with a wicked glint in mine.

"You're completely overdressed. Can't have that." With that, I selected something from the trolley. While walking a slow perimiter around you, I inspected you from all sides. Even dressed, you felt utterly exposed under my gaze. I came to a stand at your feet; your look at me from between your spread knees was part trepidation, part anticipation, and all lust. I lifted my hand, revealing my hand to contain a pair of long sharp fabric scissors. "His vorpal blade went snicker-snack..." I grinned wickedly, giving the scissors a couple of test snips, stepped up to the table. Taking the hem of your light sundress in one hand, I spread the scissor blades and carefully slid the blade under and over the slinky material. You gasp at the touch of the cold steel on your inner thigh, bite your lip. Catching your eye again, I trap your gaze with my own. You felt mesmerised but present; as if you were at once both a million light years away and also trapped in your body. You could feel every snicker-snip of the long blade, but you couldn't move a muscle even if you wanted to. All your senses felt heightened. You became aware of a glow of heat from a nearby fire.

You thought before that you couldn't feel any more exposed, but then you feel the fire's heat on your naked skin. First your thighs are laid bare. Always the wench eager to please, you spread your legs wider to drink in the heat and the feeling of my deep, relaxed breathing on your skin.

You lay exposed. I prefer vagina or cunt... "pussy", however unambiguous or acceptable, is still an idiomatic word for a masterpiece of genetic evolution & execution. Your venus mons magnifique, with a flush of arousal and more than a dash of "damn she smells good, I shall return here".So I contented myself with a deep inhalation of your aroused scent, and grinning a slow hot breath just a hair's breadth from touching you. "But you're still overdressed."

I planted a wet kiss on your thigh, then -- SNIP -- your navel comes to view. Another snicker-snack and the bottom of your bra would be showing if you were wearing one. Instead there was one last snippet until your dress is a memory. I cupped your cheek, smiled at you.

"There's no going back from this point onwards. Are you sure?"

"Oh, yes. Fuck yes please, do with me whatever you want but just DO ME already goddammit please mister!"

"You asked for it."

Then it all got a bit confusing for a bit. New sensations are like that. Like finding out what a sensational kisser you are. What you taste like (which we can never put into words, can we, quite convey what someone smells or tastes like... we just don't have the vocabulary for scents really). There was definitely a happy giggle somewhere along the way as I discovered just where exactly where my bristly face tickles your neck. Some of the bite marks took explaining, but we didn't think or care about that as we kisssed and nuzzled and nipped at each other. My kisses and nommy marks on your neck and collar bones, I turned my attention to your hithertofore sadly neglected breasts.

I took a seat on a waiting roller stool. Rolling to a stop next to you, I admired your chest for at least a minute before reaching out to you.

"I love your boobs so much, darling! Do they often poke out like that?" I teased, standing behind your head, I cupped your breasts and rolled your by then obviously aroused hard nipples between forefinger and thumb.

"Only when they're happy or when I'm aroused, sir."

"Ah, which explains why they're always hard when I'm around."

You pursed your lips for a mock-coy reply, but your words turned into a wordless moan like a sweet blues tune played on that most melodious instrument, the female vocal chords, to the tune of "Oh yes don't stop doing that" as I wrapped my lips around your nipples and lashed them with my tongue, nibbled them softly and sucked first hard, then so softly that I was barely kissing them at all. This and various other tactile voodoo tricks did I unleash at your bosom and neck and all those sensitive spots just by your hairline that always make you gush a bit if kissed there.

You were clawing at your restraints; you wanted to pull me to your chest and make fists in my hair or touch yourself but you can't, you can't. you're all tied up. Your frustrated groan is its own reward. I smile and move along down you though.

I left a row of wet kisses down your perfectly perfect tummy, around your navel a few times, but moved along down... honestly, as much for your sanity as for mine.

Your hip bones' slight projection tickled, made you squirm and again giggle out loud with the squeals of one who is truly happy and completely comfortable with saying so. Bubbling mirths flitted across both our faces, gone almost before they registered... almost. Truth is, what we saw in each other's eyes was a deep happiness and acceptance for the other. A mutual hunger, not rushing, but... not wasting time, either. Scary too. But the time for speaking about that is not yet. I run my fingers through your neatly trimmed pubes, kiss on down all the way to your closer knee. Then I stop. Your protest at this earns you a smack on each inner thigh, which I administer shortly after taking up a position at the foot end of your table. You gasped and moaned at each slap, rising to a crescendo when I take you by your hips and pull your pert bottom closer to the edge. This position makes your legs open wide and your pussy opened like a flower. The scent from this one was nectar and catnip and kryptonite all at once. I reached for you with hands and lips and -- eventually -- an exploring tongue, first lapping at your clit with a wide flat tongue, then making it all hard and long to tongue fuck your pussy hole. When my tongue wasn't in or licking you, I rubbed your inner and outer clitori in little circles and figures-of-eight... and before long, your vaginal walls contracted and spasmed around my fingers and you came and came until you lost count and you could take no more.

"Sir, I -- AHHHyesplease -- I love what you're doing so much but please please PLEASE will you fuck me now?"



ACT THREE

"Now how could I possibly be a gentleman and refuse such a request?"

I moved so I was standing next to your head, which you turned to one side to look at me. I smiled down at you and reached for my robe's belt. Your eyes pleaded with mine to hurry the fuck up (so to speak)... I took my time shimmying out of the silky robe, but removing a single garment can only really take so long. As the robe fluttered to the floor, my rock-hard 8-inch cock entered your field of vision.  At that, you made some interesting noises trying to get a closer look.  I stepped closer and stopped you with a fist in your hair.

"What do you want?" I demanded harshly, using my grip in your hair to turn your head so you're looking me in the eyes. "Speak."

You were almost literally panting now. "Sir, please... I want... I want to taste your cock! It looks so good..."

"Well, all right. I suppose you should get to know the cock soon to ravish you." With that I stepped closer, pulled your head up by your hair. All you needed to do to reach is stick out your tongue, which you did with gusto. You gave one long lick from my balls up the shaft to my big swollen dick head. Reaching the end, you immediately opened your mouth wide and sucked my cock like it's good chocolate. You were so eager and skilled with your mouth that I could feel my excitement building... but too soon, too soon. With my fist in your hair, I yanked you back off me, turning your head so you could't help but look me in the eye. An errant strand of pre-cum connected your bottom lip and my cock head; my cock jumped involuntarily at the sight of you slowly and deliberately licking it up with relish.

"Greedy wench. You'll get to taste my cum soon enough." I placed my hand on your throat, tightened my grip to choke you a bit. With my other hand, I slapped your face in punctuation to my sentences. "But I don't think you've been naughty enough yet. I have other plans for you right now... prepare to get fucked senseless. Don't forget that there is a reason why you're here."

With that, I let go your neck and stepped around to the bottom end of the table. Your cunt lips were dripping wet with lust. I took my cock in hand and rubbed the head through your wet slit a few times, taking care to rub my cock head over your swollen clit every time and making you moan. Your tied-up hands opened and closed spasmodically with the impulse to grab my shaft and direct it at your tight hole.

Soon I could't stand to tease you any further. I aimed my dick downward and placed it at the entrance to your ravenous cunt, pushed forward slightly. You used what little leeway your restraints allowed to thrust your hips forward and upwards, swallowing my cock head and eliciting a groan from us both. With a growl, I grabbed your one hip with one hand and your throat with another, used that to pull you to me just as I thrusted forward into you. As I bottommed out balls deep in you, you felt my cock head kiss your cervical mouth so gently but ever so insistently. You moaned disappointedly when I pulled back, almost completely out of you, leaving you feeling empty inside. The moan turned into a happy squeal, however, as I gave a hard thrust into you. My balls hit your arse and our pelvic bones nudged each other as I once again fill your cock-hungry slutty cunt with my thickness. You sighed and smiled elatedly as I settled into a rhythm, slowwwly pulling out and then RAMMING back into you.

"Sir, that feels amazing! I love your cock so much. My cunt loves the way you feel inside. Please please never stop fucking me!" and so on, you babbled. My hand at your throat was joined by the other. As I fucked you with a steady rhythm, I choked you for a few strokes and released, leaving you gasping for air. Then my hands tightened again and choked you, making your tight little cunt spasm and contract around my cock. Choke... release... choke... release... all the while steadily fucking you. The sensations mounted ever higher and higher.  You did't even realise that you've closed your eyes until you felt my mouth closing around a perky nipple. At first I sucked and licked it gently, then harder... when your nipple was standing up hard as a little cock, I nipped at it with my teeth at the same time as I increased the speed of my thrusts into your body. The pain / pleasure stimulation from the bite, plus the feeling of my cock in your tight little pussy, unexpectedly pushed you over the edge. Your back arched and a blush exploded from your decollétage to engulf your face... with a plaintive incoherent cry, you came harder than you can ever remember. I held still inside you; your cuntal sheath was milking my cock as it was, and I didn't want to cum too soon as I surely would have if I added the feeling of fucking you to the incredibly erotic sensation of an orgasming vagina. Keeping an eye on you to be sure you're okay, I rubbed your clit to prolong the orgasm. After the longest time, your chest heaved and you breathed in again. Eventually, I moved inside you once more.

You managed to get your mouth working again. "Oh. My. Fucking. God."

I chuckled. "Speaking."

You laugh out loud, completely blissed out. "You are, aren't you? You are surely a god at this. Ooohhhhhh..." the last sound because I thrust deeply into you, again nudging your cervix and making your fertile womb twitch. That reminded you of why you asked me to do this with you in the first place: you wanted a baby, and you specifically wanted me to breed you, get you pregnant... to sire offspring born of our bodies and minds. The memory's surfacing took you by surprise and you felt your body approaching another orgasm. This time you were ready, you wanted my everything.

"Sir... sire... please cum with me. Fuck me, use me for your pleasure, anything... do anything you want, but cum with me and fill me up with your hot cum!"

We were now looking right in each other's eyes. Neither of us could break eye contact if we tried. I fucked you faster and harder, ever deeper even though that seemed impossible. With a growl, I redoubled my efforts as I felt my orgasm approaching. You sensed my excitement and knew what it would mean for you. We fucked like animals, like wild possessed things. Neither of us had any sensation of time passing; nothing else mattered but the mating of our sex, the union and joining of our bodies. The harder I fucked you, the more I scratched and bit your body... the pain from my bites and scratches all over your chest and breasts and shoulders only serving to further excite you. After an eternity of fucking, my growling moans took on an increasingly urgent tone. You sensed that I am close and that pushes you right to the edge of cumming.

I gave a few last savage thrusts of my obscenely swollen cock into your willing cunt... then on the last thrust, I held still. You felt my cock swell impossibly big inside you, feel my balls contracting between us. Then with a wild animalistic roar, I exploded inside you, my cock twitching again and again, pumped a massive load of thick hot semen into your eagerly waiting cunt. You felt it inside you, warm and thick and so much of it. All this sent you over the edge too, your pussy canal contracting and milking me, coaxing all of my hot sperm-laden semen into your willing and waiting vagina.

When we finally managed to breathe and think again (after a fashion, anyway), we met each other's eyes and smiled. No words were necessary. Except...

"I love you," we say simultaneously, and laugh. I reached up, pulled on a rope that freed both your hands. I did likewise with your feet, then picked you up and carried you to a nearby bed. "Here, lie down and I'll put a pillow under your hips. The longer my sperm is inside you, the better the chances of conceiving." You obeyed without a second thought; you trust me absolutely.

"Sir?" you asked me as I lay down next to you.

"Yes, my darling dearest lovergirl cumslut?"

"Next time we do that, can I please have my hands and feet free? I loved being tied up, but I also want to feel you and to wrap my legs around your body."

"Absolutely." I curled up next to you, lay my head on your shoulder. "And soon."

And with blissful smiles, we both drifted off to sleep.

------------------------------
--------

17 November 2014

Obligatory Self-flagellating Post, and Updates

So it's been a long time since I last posted. A lot has happened in my life since then. Let's take it as read that I felt guilty about neglecting my blog, dealt with it, and moved past all that. I'm back, and I have a lot to say. I'll probably find out what that is shortly before you do.

Right now I am partly blogging as a displacement activity to ameliorate the tension of my 'droid being difficult as regards being re-flashed with either stock or custom ROMs. If that is G(r)eek to you, never mind it. I am also procrastinating work because of my frustration at a seemingly intractable technical issue.

So yesterday I was interviewed for a documentary on polyamory which is being produced for the SABC (South African Broadcast Corporation, for my international readers). This is the first time in South African history that an in-depth documentary program is being produced with the aim of giving viewers a balanced view of this lifestyle.

If you are unfamiliar with the concept of polyamory, rest assured that I will go into the topic in as much detail as I can muster. The headline version is that polyamory is a form of ethical, consensual non-monogamy in which all involved parties are free to choose to pursue multiple relationships. This is by far a new thing; there are many examples of this relationship model being practiced in various communities and civilisations throughout recorded history.

I just succeeded in resurrecting my phone, and it's nearly tjailatyd (Afrikaans slang for knocking-off time, aka home time). More to come soon.

Luvs to all! xx